And the journey begins...

I suppose this post's title is just a little bit misleading--this journey actually began about four years ago, when my husband announced that he had been thinking about becoming a minister and would soon begin the discernment process in the United Church of Canada.

Anyone who has ever been half of a couple knows that a decision made by one partner has an impact on the other. If my husband decides that removing his socks and leaving them in balls at the side of his bed is what he wants to do, and I am the one who does the laundry...well, it's not easy for two people to work in harness together.

When he began, I was told point-blank by a member of his discernment committee that there was a 50% divorce rate for couples in our situation. I still don't know if that was true at the time or whether it is true now...but I do know that the person who told me that made a point of explaining to me, a number of months later, that many ministers have affairs with their church secretaries because they share so many confidences.

My husband and I were both appalled at this. Not at what she said--but that she said it. As a teenager, I had friends whose father was a Pentecostal minister and yes, his wife left him when she discovered he'd had an affair with their church secretary. I have worked in publishing, insurance and in education--I know that some people who work closely together sometimes have affairs. I wasn't appalled at that idea (although I do find it sad).

What upset me was the fact that this person seemed to feel obligated to frighten me as much as possible--instead of offering any support.

My husband found the process exciting and uplifting, as his call was clarified. I came away believing that if the statistic about divorce was correct, it had a lot to do with the process that was in place and the people who were administering it.

No marriage is easy. Change is always challenging. The life-partners of those who are called need to know they aren't alone. Obviously God is with us--but a little human sharing of our common experiences wouldn't go amiss, either.

So here is my venture into the world of blogging...what I hope will be my own little honest but optimistic, critical but positive, personal expression as this adventure continues.