...a job that's meaningful...

In my hometown, there is a pile of rubble--all that is left of the paper mill that provided a livelihood for hundreds of families. My father laboured there until his retirement. For my brother, it was a different story.

When the mill shut down, my brother, in his mid-forties, found his way into mineral exploration. The outdoor work suited him; his intelligence and work ethic put him into a leadership role almost immediately.

And now, with the price of metals, his job is gone.

When he called to tell us, I told him about my decision to enter discernment.

"I just need something meaningful," I said.

"I think teaching kids to read and think is pretty meaningful," he said.

"It's important," I said, "but it's not meaningful to me any more."

This decision has changed nothing in my situation--I will continue as I have--except that it has changed everything in my situation--because my eyes have a new focal point on a distant horizon. My talents, my skills, my education, my faith -- all meet there. Patterns of behaviour at work that used to keep me tense and stressed are revealed as pathetic attempts to control what cannot be controlled--chains have slipped from me...I've stepped out of my old skin...

Discernment is a 12 month process once the committee is set. Working and taking distance ed for the M. Div. means a steady income and no drastic changes for our daughters. My retirement date is November 2015...the year our youngest will graduate from high school.

I have the luxury of self-actualization, while others, like my brother, experience life as a struggle much closer to the survival end of the continuum.