One More Get-Up...

This is the 47th day I have woken up alone.

Tomorrow will be the 48th, but it will be different. I will not wake up vaguely confused before heading into a day that feels too tight around me.

I will wake up knowing that today, Day 48, he is waking up and heading onto the highway, coming home. There will be some happy anticipation and anxiety about the driving, and then a careful forgetting so as not to feel the anxiety.

It will be the longest day because he will be so close; it will be the shortest day because I will have so much work to do to meet Monday's deadline and I will not want to bring it home.

I think I may allow myself to cry.