If It Be Your Will

"Would you be willing to sing that song you like during the offering on Sunday?"

One moment of hesitation, then "Sure!"

I met my mother-in-law at the church on Saturday morning and opened myself to singing "If It Be Your Will". The piano arrangement was lilting and lovely; I did my best to do justice to the song that has meant so much to me. I was not sure that I would be able to sing it without tears. Nor was I sure that our congregation would identify with "let your mercy spill on these burning hearts in hell, if it be your will to make us well". To all appearances, they are a well-adjusted and pleasant-looking group of pew-warmers.

And so I sang, and did not cry, and then came the unexpected news, and shock, denial, anger.

"Draw us near, and bind us tight, all your children here in their rags of light...in our rags of light, all dressed to kill, and end this night...if it be your will."

Another breath taken

The highly structured day in which I work has been a blessing. So too its pace. There has been no time to think beyond the needs of those around me for whom I am responsible.

At work, I am off-balance. I am struggling for the bigger picture, but my brain is foggy with lack of sleep as I adjust to the shifts in our personal lives.

I have killed spiders; I have helped with math homework; I have listened and listened and hugged and listened. I have loyally enthused with the rightful recipients of my loyalty and enthusiasm. I have realized that having only one bathroom in a three-female household isn't the problem, it is having only one blow-dryer. Two more are on order. I have gone to the sports section of Canadian Tire and purchased equipment for my budding ringette player, and helped the paper-deliverer to sort out the problem of delivering 46 papers to 47 houses.

And that was just today, before I got to choir practice. Where, finally, I took a little breath and felt the music begin its return.

Sending Him Off...

Posing in the garden....

It has been a whirlwind of school start-up and 'this-needs-to-be-done-before-you-go'.

Months' worth of garbage tags have been purchased; the air filters changed; the lawn mowed; the barbecue put away; and the jeans and t-shirt I'd set aside to wear to work on dress-down Friday retrieved from his suitcase after ten frantic minutes of searching.

He cooked us breakfast: perfect bacon and eggs and sausage. The girls surprised him with a present: a Dragon Lance book called The Anvil of Time and a Subway card. He was hoping to be on the road by 9:00...but it was 10:00 when the wheels of his Corolla rolled out of the driveway.

...one last hug....