Within the next week, my husband will have finished his last class at seminary and be on his way home. He will only be home for two weeks before heading out again for an eleven week placement for Pastoral Care. But now he will be only 5 driving hours away.
Without him, I have dealt with broken appliances, snow-filled drive-ways, spiders, and assorted other bits of life-not-running-smoothly on the home-front. I have uncovered new competencies and learned, humbly and gratefully, how rewarding it is to be a member of community and to accept help.
It has not been easy to rearrange my priorities to improve self-care, but I have. Meeting with a dietician for half an hour has led to a four pound weight loss in three weeks--that was just by changing when I eat and adding grains!
For the first time in ten years, I hosted our book club--and a product party. I am actually dusting furniture!
What I have been neglecting is the investigation I need to make about the courses of study open to me as I pursue my call to ministry. Part of me is paralyzed by the financial aspect--at this point I do not see how I will be able to proceed the way I want to. He will be earning a very small amount as an intern over the next two years...depending on his placement, there could be substantial costs in travel and housing. He will also be taking four more courses, and will need to return to Saskatoon a number of times. I want to begin taking courses myself, and at this point can't imagine doing so while being single mom and full-time teacher.
I need to remember that very little ever proceeds the way we want it to...or plan for. Like Indiana Jones I have to assume that there is a bridge over that yawning chasm of not-enough-time and not-enough-money and take that trusting step.
Thank you
4 months ago
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