Seizing the moment

I have been seized by the lapels and shaken into this moment...layers of thought and feeling have peeled away...

There has been a coming to terms this past week.

There is the shock of personal loss revisited through the grief and loss of another family. There is an awareness that my daughters are sad not just because someone they know has died and their friends have lost their father, but because they know now that this is a world where a parent can die, unexpectedly, in the night. We have been touched by the desolation of death.

At the same time, we affirm life: I broke through the emotional clutter that held me back from fulfilling my childhood dream and took my first guitar lesson. We tidied up some physical clutter (always my excuse to not have people in...) and had an amazing dinner and visit with a friend and her daughter. I filled the house with tulips. I held my daughter close as she wept at the funeral, even as I was filled with humble admiration for the strength of the grieving and the understanding that God is in and amongst us.

I have been afraid to shine and I have been reminded that I must.